Question
My fiance and I are scheduled to be married next year. He is a good person, and I think he will be a wonderful husband but he is not sexually satisfying. I began having an affair a couple weeks ago with someone I work with and now I am really confused. Dr. Barbetta, what should I do?
Answer
Marriage should begin with compete honesty in order for a healthy relationship to flourish. You might want to consider postponing the wedding until you can make a commitment to one person. Once the wedding plans are in progress, couples are often afraid to throw a wrench in the plans.
It is far more logical to delay or even end your plans now than to go through the pains of divorce. Have you ever tried voicing your sexual frustrations to your fiance? Maybe he is feeling the same way you are and does not know how to express it.
If your lover is fulfilling your need to have good communication, you may not be giving your fiance an opportunity to listen to your feelings and react. If you are in love with your fiance and want to end the affair, seek couples counseling before making any more wedding plans. You may also want to pickup two books for you and your fiance, Dr. James Gilbraugh’s Men’s Private Parts and John Gray’s bestseller, Venus and Mars in the Bedroom. They are both easy reads and will spark interesting dialogue.
Dr. Francine Barbetta 